I Wish the Universe for You
Things I Cannot Say to my Eldest
We have the sky in common
Elegant snaps of softly lilac sunrises
Brilliantly messy sunsets
Transient clouds we try vainly to ride
Moving reflections in still waters
So much more we sense without seeing
We sit and pick at our lunches
We talk so often there isn’t much to say
The enormity of it all overwhelms
Faded pink lines adorn your forearms
Like discarded October ribbons
At least your wrists are smooth and clean
But I see the steel I never saw coming
Feel it slice through my child’s flesh
The therapist says…
You have too much empathy
(As if that’s bad? Perhaps, yes)
The therapist says…
You need more “coping skills”
The therapist says…
I hate this stranger who hears your secrets
Relieved at least that you share them with me
Happier still there are no childhood traumas
That you mention, anyway
And so I wait — impatiently
I watch with anxious eyes, I worry
I call you more than you might like
It’s all I can really do
I know where you got this from
I know coping isn’t the stuff of a well lived life
But I hope you, my darling girl, know
You are truly beautiful
Your curls, your curves, your soul, your nurturing
Fierce, unbending sense of what’s right
You are my sky, sunrise to sunset and sunrise
Twenty years and forever more
You will be inside of me and fill the galaxy
