You are very sage, and I think you must have been a therapist in a former life (which makes it all the more fun to think of you flinging peas!). This is the approach I take in person and on FB when debating with friends of friends, and it’s been surprisingly productive. Given where I live in NC, it doesn’t take seven degrees of Kevin Bacon to find someone who thinks #alllivesmatter or that confederate statues are “history.” Although these “discussions” almost always start out inflammatory, treating them with respect and demanding that they treat me with respect has almost always moved the needle.

My school shooting articles here on Medium provide a good example of the opposite. :-D Although I wrote them primarily to relieve my own steam and didn’t think they’d get the reads that they have (um, yikes!), I will say this: even under these difficult circumstances, some people will engage in reasonable debate if you can demonstrate that you’re thinking about what they have to say — aka “meeting them where they are,” as you put it. I think the next time I’m about to lose it on Medium, I should come back to your article and count to 100 before I start typing!